Discovering My Inner Artist
Everyone has an "inner critic"
Recently, I've been inspired by my niece, Emily St. Germain, to explore the long forgotten inner artist that's in me. Since I'm never shy to ask for help, I've hired a guide to help me explore ways to create free expression, from the inside out. It's a wonderful process called Intuitive Painting, which has me opening and coming alive in areas where I wasn't even conscious that I was closed.
I'm also committed to sharing my work, so I've entered a few art shows. It presents a dichotomy: one side of me is afraid to expose myself in such an intimate way, and the other, more courageous me is eager to see if my work touches people, also opening myself to criticism. It's an odd combination, and it's liberating.
I've learned that my inner critic is alive and well. I find myself thinking, planning, deliberating - and as a result my shoulders shrug up with tension. Then, I remember that creating art is meant to be fun and free. I take a few deep breaths and begin again. It's amazing to me how important it is to create something beautiful, and how much I judge myself for lacking the talent I somehow think I should have. I wonder how this shows up for me in other areas of my life. How I do anything is how I do everything.
My life's work is creating transformation, for myself and others. There is a deep connection to this work, through my art. I can look inside, finding my inner artist and notice with love and acceptance all the ways I choose to block my creativity. Will someone look at my art and reject that I'm an artist? Will I look at my art and reject the belief that I'm an artist? Will I embarrass myself, displaying my art in an art show, while right next to me is a "real" artist? Will I be exposed as a "wannabe" artist? My desire to please people rears up and claims my inner critic. It's such fantastic space to wake up into.
I choose to be gentle with myself. I choose to accept that in this way, I'm a beginner. I choose the joy that comes from creating, over the disappointment that comes from not playing the game at all. I choose to love the inner artist in me, with arms wide open.
The above amazing artwork was created by my client, as his creative interpretation of me. I love that he is awakening his inner artist, too. We teach what we most need to learn, it seems - over and over again.
What is inside you, that you've ignored? What would you love to create, if you had the courage? What if you DO have the courage?