Living from Spirit
I've been having some fascinating, earth-shaking conversations lately. That happens when you do the kind of work I do, I suppose. I get to show people things that they haven't been able to see, which often puts them on a new path. But first, I have to see it myself, for myself, before I can effectively teach it. It's a bummer and yet it's true. That's why I work with Stephen McGhee, my own leadership coach.
Even a coach can benefit from having a coach.
I've worked with Stephen for about 4 years now, and he has shown me so much about my Self. I've learned how I project my own judgement onto others, and how important language is in creating my life. I've learned that sometimes my thoughts are just junk, plain and simple. Forgiving myself and others has been a constant thread throughout our work. I've learned to stop hiding from what's true.
And what I know now, in that sunk-into-the-bones kind of knowing, is how hard life is when my ego is running the show. I've known intellectually for many years the impact my ego has on my decisions. I just haven't known in a deeper, heart-centered sense, which is where it really counts.
When I'm in ego, I care more about what others think about me than I prefer. I get impatient for things to happen. I get worried about money or about my health or about anything else that feels out of my control. I imagine that I have more control than I ever really do, which leads to constant disappointment. My ego wants to keep me safe, so I talk myself out of doing things that might carry risk. When my ego is fully engaged, I get small, curling up into a safe little ball. When I think about the times I'm stuck in ego land, I can feel my body tensing up - my breathing gets shallow as if I'm poised for an attack.
The piece that was missing for me was that I didn't know what to lean into, if not my ego. It was there all along - in fact it's the force that created my presence in this world. It's spirit.
When I say spirit, I mean God. I get weary when people refer to the universe as their power source - people dancing around the idea of who really is in charge around here. I imagine it's an effort not to offend anyone with their belief system, and I can appreciate that. I'm just saying that for me, spirit means I'm operating from God's will, being what God wants me to be, and doing his work while I'm here. And it seems the joke is on me - because I also believe that God gave me my ego, on a silver platter, just waiting to see what I would do with it.
I'm not saying my ego is bad. It has kept me out of trouble a time or two, I'm sure. Ego has its place.
But when I engage in life, leaning into spirit - I become embraced by the Holy Grid. I lighten up, literally. I become buoyant with possibility, rather than afraid of it. I feel free. I realize that I have very little control over things and that is really ok. I relinquish my need to know, for certain, how things will look. I surrender to God's will and create actions that align with my true self; the one created with purpose on purpose. The people I need to know come dancing into my life, ready to help. The right efforts become clear and move swiftly into place. I love and feel loved without conditions.
What a contrast, right? So now, when I notice that things seem hard, I ask myself which force is in the lead - ego or spirit? It's easy to see the difference, and simple to make a shift. The implications of this soul-shift are dramatic and exponential.
Living within the Holy Grid is like taking the red pill in The Matrix. It has me seeking truth even when it's painful to see, supported completely by spirit for the greatest good of all concerned.
P.S. If you want to deepen this principle into your own life, you can join me for your own personal Liberation Day, where we will create the space for spirit and much, much, more.