Work Life Balance Magic Wand
The older I get, the more I realize how creating an amazing life is really about the experiences I have in it. It’s not about possessions. It’s not about how much I work, or how much I play; who I know or don’t know. It’s about me, in conversation with someone else. It’s about a deep human connection with those I love, and the experiences associated with that. Work life balance seems like a myth, and there were many times I wished for a magic wand. I remember asking my grown children once about their favorite childhood vacation. I fully expected that their answer would be Disneyworld (which was my least favorite!). Instead, they agreed that their favorite was our vacation up north in Traverse City, where we did nothing but relax and play in the lake. It was an experience to remember because we were together, without distractions. We weren’t laughing at some cartoon character exhibit; we were laughing at our stories, at each other being goofy, and connecting as a family.
That was a brilliant answer, and I learned then that the most gratifying experiences have more to do with the people in them than the places we visit. Humans being human together.
I get that it’s not always happy, happy, joy, joy. Sometimes it’s painful, navigating a loss or a challenge. And even in those times, the connection with another human who cares for us makes our life worth living.
My life is an accumulation of experiences. I imagine that when I get to the end of my life, this is what I’ll remember.
I will remember the way my grown son calls me “momma” when he’s feeling like he needs my support. His voice gets soft and the little boy heart returns. It’s sweet and endearing, reminding me that I will always be his momma, even when he doesn’t need me much.
I will remember the time, when he was 6 years old. He was obstinate and persistent about getting his own way while getting ready for school each morning, frequently pushing the limits of my patience. He wanted to wear the clothing he wanted to wear, which didn’t meet my standards. I remember feeling violent, wanting to control him, being frustrated that he didn’t cooperate with my plan.
I showed up at work that day, after finally getting them dropped off for school, in tears. I was past logic; overcome with pure and raw emotion. I didn’t know what to do with this kid. My co-worker looked me in the eye and said “love him”. He said, when he’s in the throes of a temper tantrum, gather him close and hug him. This was some of the best parenting advice I’d ever received.
I will remember my daughter when she was 3, just learning to be a conversationalist. She would jump up on my bed as I was putting clothes away. Lying down, her chin propped up with her hands, she’d say in her tiny girl voice “Let’s have a talk” in a very grown up way. I’d laugh and abandon the chore I was doing, her little personality irresistible.
I will remember the rare moments with my husband, when his heart was exposed. I will remember him sobbing when his dad passed, and when we put our beloved dogs down. I will remember his daily morning love texts, calling me his queen, and his willingness to do anything at all if it made me happy.
I will remember tender moments with my mom, as she shared with me her life history. She told me details I never knew, and I remember being so blessed to have had the conversation. I’ll remember her courage and strength in navigating a life that was often difficult, a model for my times like that.
I will remember the vacations, especially the Mexico vacations. All inclusives in the best possible way...the sun, the sand, the sea, the friendships. I’ll remember the diversity of the native people, their homes with 3 walls, and their big smiles in spite of their conditions.
I’ll remember the passing of my dad, our hearts healing as he made his transition.
I’ll remember the laughter and joy I share with my sisters and brother; each of them bringing their unique gifts to my life. I’ll remember the nieces and nephews, and the greats, and the way their voice changes when they call me “Aunt Reesy”.
This is the fruit of my life. When I get tangled up in the thought that I’m working too much or that time is spinning away, I realize how blessed I am to be in such loving relationships with so many people. And that’s how I know that my life is balanced.
Contact Coach Charrise by calling 574.971.5234, emailing [email protected], or completing the form below:
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